After Conflict
Repair questions — for when something broke and you're working back.
5 questionsWhat did this argument reveal that we still need to address?
Why this matters: Most fights are symptoms, not causes.
What do you need from me right now — not eventually, right now?
Why this matters: Cuts through assumptions about what healing looks like.
What are we actually protecting when we fight like this?
Why this matters: Fear, ego, or a wound — name it.
Is there something I do that makes you feel unsafe to be honest with me?
Why this matters: Hard but necessary — disconnection starts with unexpressed honesty.
Defensive rejection of the question itself.
What would it look like for both of us to feel good about how we move forward?
Why this matters: Collaborative repair instead of one person absorbing all responsibility.